Goodbye, Old. Hello, New!

Last week Mom, Sadie, and I drove off and away from our pretty little house in Kentucky and headed out to the Wild West! Which, by the way, between Columbia, Missouri and Kentucky is just a big Indiana cornfield.

It was really rough leaving home, because like I said in my last post, I'm really apprehensive about the coming year. It was even more heartbreaking to leave home when everything was so green and plush, and our garden was just starting to ripen up the watermelons.

My stepdad Ben woke up early to send us off.

But now I'm here at Stephens!! And I've already got tons of material for more posts- I can tell this year is going to be packed with creativity. And, an added bonus for all you guys, I'm not only in a photography class this semester, but my work study has me taking a lot of pictures, which means I should have plenty for eye candy for you!!

I know I'M excited! SO, the first chance I get to take a big deep breath and pull together another post, it'll be Stephens Stephens everywhere!! Keep a lookout for your own face!

love, rudi

Ah!! Road Trip!

HOW IS SUMMER ALREADY OVER?!

My disbelief is falling out my ears. I started folding shirts yesterday, and suddenly we're leaving for Missouri in the morning, a lovely 9 hour trip from KY.

So packing has helped put me in the back-to-school mindset, and my reaction to the packing has compelled me to share this piece of advice:

Downsizing is good. If my dream of moving to New York is to ever come true, I am going to have to spend the next two years of my life getting rid of all my stuff. It's the worst feeling ever to slowly realize you're drowning in t-shirts, miss-matched socks, and shoes you like but never wear.

I feel like this.

I know I am not actually like this. But this is absolutely how I feel.

But guess what?! Since it's still 2011 I'm going to say last semester's goal can still apply:

I want to be organized. So bad. Clutterless, Coordinated, Tidy. I may make myself a poster for my room with that phrase, just to keep my mind on the goal.

See? Look at that- I'm already being proactive. Well... I'm already talking about being proactive.  You know how it goes.

Wish me luck moving in, ya'll!! And Freshmen,
Good luck, and be brave. You can't have a new best friend until you introduce yourself to her. Also, please introduce yourself to me! I love new friends, and I love helping out. Giving advice makes upperclassmen feel good, so don't be shy!!

love, rudi

End of Summer Blues

Sadie, Mom, and Ben earlier this summer on a little fishing trip. It was what Sadie wanted for her birthday.

I'm not going to sugar coat anything: until about an hour ago I was completely dreading going back to school at the end of this week.

I've been reading all of my friend's thoughts on Facebook- everyone's reaching out to each other with "I can't wait to see you!"s. It will be amazing to see my girls after a few excruciating months without them, but I'm not feeling ready to cope with the less ideal parts of college after spending all summer in the comforts of home and laziness. When I think of college I find myself remembering late nights every night under a mountain of work and how cold those treks to class and dinner are during the school year. Being with my family after a year away has made me appreciate and miss them even more, and I'm just positively dreading not being able to see Truchi until November.

Truchi and I, the evening of our last visit for the summer.

I'm also nervous about my coming year. I'm sort of going through freshman year twice because I'll be in all new environment- new major, new teachers, new people. Last year I was so full of leftover angst and frustration from high school that I attacked my first year of college with fireworks of energy and eagerness but now I'm just feeling drained. I hope I can pull the same enthusiasm into this year and less magnetism for negativity and bad luck. I'm proud to have made a good impression on my teachers and classmates last year, but now I have to wonder if I can do it again. Thinking about all this makes me hiccup with worry.

But like I said, about an hour ago I had an epiphany. I was thinking about how freshman year was all about standing out at auditions, going to rehearsals or crew until ten at night, building up and repairing a reputation from scratch, and simply learning how to survive sanely in the giant college juggling act. But this year I don't have to worry about any of that stuff, not really. Those things were about 85% of my daily life, and I realized that means I now have 85% of my life to fill with...well, whatever I want.

That little schedule shift in my head made my whole body loosen and relax instantly. Finally things I imagined myself doing in college seem reachable, like working on my organization, which is hard to do when you barely have time to grab some lunch. Now who knows- I may have time to go to lectures, all those campus events I missed out on last year, and I'll actually be able to commit to a few clubs here and there! It sounds so simple and insignificant but I've always wanted to hold a leadership role in a school organization, and maybe this year I'll finally get that chance. In high school that was never an option because elections were just disguised popularity contests, but college is different, right?

Anyway, the point is I decided to stop being scared and to think outside my worried restraints, and now I'm feeling much more positively about the year.

Mom and Sadie baking in their pajamas and aprons.

But I'll still miss my mommy.

love, rudi