The Game of Self Expression

I've been avoiding you. 

Blogging has been a battle in my brain lately. It's a puzzle to decipher what to write about- what's considered too much information, what's too little, what parts of my life I should advertise and what parts I should keep private. I'm in a peculiar position for a blogger because I see most of my readers every day, which makes having this online diary especially awkward. 

Blogging is also hugely about documenting the fun stuff you do and talking about it. The thing is, though, that I don't go to many events or parties, I'm not usually found hanging out with friends. 95% of my day is spent by myself. It's class, work, my internship, homework, and the ever-so-precious alone time that I depend on so heavily to keep myself together. College is such a temporary isolated type of living, I always feel sort of slopped together in a whirlwind of deadlines and running from place to place. It's a sordid mixture of being very, very busy and then suddenly having nothing to do, which makes for boring blog conversation.

That said, I spend a lot of time thinking about art, projects, and more than anything at all, The Future. Those things are so personal and specific, and not exactly good table conversation. It's a puzzle, then, deciding what to share and what to not share. I'm supposed to be recording my life, but my life is just a cocktail of homework and errands. In the meantime I hide inside my own head, stirring soups of inspiration and daydreams.

But how do I explain those things to you? 

love, rudi