Thursday, November 4


Some of you more dedicated readers may have noticed that I haven't been around lately,

and there's a reason for that.

On Friday I had this big awesome post prepared with pictures and a full description of my life, but my mom called me with the terrible news that my great grandma was, well, dying. I threw some sweaters, way too many socks, and (For some reason) lots and lots of peanut butter crackers, cereal, and tea bags into a suitcase, hopped into the car, and started driving.

My grandma died the morning after I saw her, but I'm just very thankful I was able to see her at all.

As you all can imagine I've not really able to cheerily document all the fun stuff going on in my life, and I don't think you all want to see pictures of my not-smiling family, so instead I'll just talk about how things aren't always cheery.

I've been wanting to mention this for a while, because it's important to me personally that you, whether you're a prospective student, a parent, or a fellow Stephens woman- know that college life is kind of nothing like I thought it would be. During my last year or two of high school I remained sane by always telling myself "College will be better," but in many ways it's not. I've found myself dealing with many issues I somehow managed to avoid during high school- 'boy' problems (At a women's school- how ironic!), dealing with loads of homework, dealing with catty girls, being a catty girl, and having, for one of the few times in my life, trouble being self-confident.

But don't panic! For all of you new-to-collegers you should know that I seem to be a semi-rare case. Whenever I look around me I see smiling, laughing girls chatting merrily with their friends, loving life and enjoying college to its fullest. And of course, often I am also one of those girls, but it's been the biggest surprise that I'm not always like that. I have bad days- I have really bad days- but they're always laced with great moments.

Maybe that's what I'm trying to say to all of you. Even though college may not be what you expect, and even if you have terrible experiences and you're stressed out and don't hardly recognize yourself anymore and your grandma dies- even if all that crazy stuff happens- you'll still survive.

I, away from my parent's house and away from my hometown, have somehow grown this freakish backbone of steel that allows me to breeze through my problems and tribulations in life with a certain amount of grace. I may not be completely comfortable with the events going on around me (forgive me for being so vague) with friends or classmates or my family, but I've reached a point where I'm always comfortable with myself. The world can be haywire, but I live quite comfortably in my own head- and that's a state of mind that I've been working towards my entire teenagedom.

All this drama has maybe resulted in me "finding myself" a little. And that's what college is supposed to do, right?

And since there's absolutely no picture that will match the content of this post, I'll relieve you all of the tragedy my life has become with this:

I hope you all had a better Halloween Weekend than I did.

love, rudi


  1. I'm very sorry to hear about your grandmother. And that things aren't always too great. I think it's wonderful, though, that you are content in your mind and that you can always retreat to there when things aren't going to plan. It's great to have that, because no matter what the world throws at you, you will be in the best position to make well thought out decisions. And it's true that college is when you're supposed to 'find yourself'. That's what I'm feeling at the moment too. It's such a big adventure. I always love to hear how you are. I feel like I really know you from reading your blogs.

    Take care!
    Kate x

  2. Can I just say that I love reading your blogs?? I find myself relating to a lot of things that you say, especially this post. I find that I am also becoming comfortable with myself, even though with some of my actions I don't recognize myself. College is definitely way different than I thought it would be, but it's good. I mean, you are still having fun and are 'finding' yourself, which I think is important. Besides, everyone has those absolutely horrid days they would rather not think about. Oh, and the picture is great :))

  3. Charity WattersonNovember 05, 2010

    My name isn't Kate or Katie, but I'll comment anyway.
    I loved this post. It shows that all college isn't fluffy stuff-there are very real issues that go on behind the scenes. I'm glad you shared this private moment with others and I hope that the girls that were touched by your message seek you out on campus and talk to you directly, as it is always a blessing to be connected to LIKE MINDED people. Here's to you and your backbone of steel.

  4. Louann LennonNovember 05, 2010

    Love reading your blogs! Keep your head up..You'll do great in whatever you accomplish..

  5. Aunt Melissa WattersonNovember 06, 2010

    Oh how I know your struggle so well. These struggles will help you along life's journey and make you into a stronger person. You will find out more deeply what everyone of your family members already are a kind, caring, sensitive, beautiful young woman with a lot to offer this strange world. Continue to let your passion drive you and forget all the rest. God Bless you and I hope November is better than the last part of October!! Love, Aunt Melissa (Florida)

  6. Hi Katie - I am a Stephens Alum (87) and just read your blog for the first time - I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother.

    I truly believe that Stephens prepared me for the many challenges in my life - I am confident and push hard for what I believe in - thanks for reminding me of what Stephens has done for me over the years!

    Thanks for your inspiration tonight and keep up the excellent work!


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