Thursday, September 23

I know what you're thinking, and I have a witty retort.

Yes, it's true that these photos are only funny for the people in them (and those people's parents),

and I must say that I am forcing you to suffer through my funny face macbook pictures because both myself AND my parents read this blog. Haha!

The content of this post is actually going to be drastically different that what the photos portray. I realize maybe I've sent you some false advertising, because while my photos are silly, what's really on my mind is not.

During class today I slaughtered a relatively simple phrase, one that normally, in my high school classes (assuming that the content ever reached this deep of a level), I would have no trouble expressing. I stuttered and stopped in mid-sentence, and completely thrashed together words that didn't go together to form coherent thoughts. It wasn't a particularly complex idea, and yet for some unlabeled reason I couldn't for the life of me relate what was in my head to the girls looking expectantly at me, waiting to hear what it was I had to say.

I find myself more and more often struggling with simple, basic things like this, and then in turn circling around in my head to try and find to root of these problems.

I never find a conclusion, but rather several tiny possibilities. Am I intimidated? I once had a tall, somewhat foreboding middle aged man tell me that he saw me as a person who never got intimidated- yet here I sit defying his sage insight, in the middle of a room filled with well dressed, optimistic looking girls quivering and stuttering to emit forth a simple spoken paragraph.

My lack of bravery during class really surprises me. I'm usually a more outspoken and personally honest person- if I feel I should say something I simply do. But recently I bite my tongue, and I'm not entirely sure why. In a way I feel like I'm interrupting everyone else's education. My roommate told me it's because I'm not a very confrontational person. That seems like a good answer, but I think I still have some self speculation to occupy my time with.

Luckily I've found a remedy to all my problems.

It's starts with 'Choc' and ends with 'late milk'.

On a lighter note, aren't the trees outside the theater gorgeous? I look forward to seeing them every day.

Hope you all have had a relatively pleasant week.

love, rudi

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